Year Two

On September 14, he asked me to be with him again. I was reluctant at first, but also happy. I said ok on the condition that he makes changes. I wasn't going to live how I was before. It'll just ruin us again. 

He insisted we be engaged again, he had actually proposed on April Fools day before he left me. I was hesitant on being engaged again without knowing he for sure was changing his ways. But he insisted so I agreed. 

We moved him into my moms house, as the housing assistance he was getting, he defaulted from when my son and I moved out. And we couldn't afford the apartment on our own. I was excited and happy to have him back.

He would surprise me, for the first few months, with random sweet messages. He would randomly pick up flowers every payday and bring them home to me. He'd stop and buy treats and say he was just thinking of me. We started to play DND together with friends and we were in a really good spot. Probably the best one we have and would have ever been in. 

We did a lot together, would go to the park with our son, would watch movies and hangout. The intimacy level was through the roof, we were... Perfect. We fought every once and a while because my trust rebuilding wasn't very easy for me. I had a hard time accepting that he had slept with at least four people during our five month hiatus. But he kept telling me I needed to let it go and trust him again, but it wasn't that easy for me. 

In November, we began talking about moving to Idaho. It was always something we thought about, as he always wanted to move back. It was cheaper for us to be able to raise a family and go places in our life. 

I had just gotten a job, as I decided to hold off on school because we were thinking of moving. The tribe had just opened a casino. Opening night was a blast. They had free drinks and we had good friends with us. When I say those were the best months of our entire relationship, I am not kidding. 

When taxes came around, we decided we would use the money to move. We had our sons birthday party, and told family and began to pack. Something in me grew anxious and worried. Part of me didn't want to leave, like I shouldn't leave. But for once I ignored my inner voice and went with it.

At the very end of March, we loaded up a UHaul and said goodbye to my mom, it wasn't an easy goodbye. I didn't know when I would see her again. We went and had breakfast with his dad and uncle, before hitting the long journey over the mountain to Idaho, our new home to hopefully a good new start. 

The drive wasn't bad, we took turns driving the truck, we stayed in Lovelock in Nevada, a rinky dink hotel, but the only one with vacancies. The story behind the city is extremely cute, you should read up on it I wanted to go to the fence, but we wanted to get to Idaho. 

Oh, right, missed a spot. So back in the start of March, he went to Idaho for a week and got an apartment and a van, so we had everything set in stone. We weren't just moving to nothing. 

When we finally made it to Idaho, his friend at the time Nate was waiting for him, to help unload the truck and such. We unloaded and headed to walmart to get the essentials for the house.

We got panda express I beleive and I was looking at the new van and had forgotten that I put my drink on the floor. I rolled my window down and he had forgotten to mention that mine didn't roll back up. So he got upset and called me stupid and angrily drove off, which subsequently made my drink spill everywhere. Which made him more mad.

It was the first time in 9 months that he had been like that. First time in 10 months that he had called me stupid. I shut down, because my previous relationship causes me to shut down in anger situations. 

We got home and silently ate our dinner and put our son to bed, I started setting up house a little bit and he eventually apologized and we tried to figure out how to close our window. It was only opened about two inches or so, but it was still snow season, the end of it at least, and we didn't want snow to get everywhere in the car. We let it be for a few days, but I actually got some duck tape and just taped it off until it eventually got fixed. 

The first few weeks weren't bad, but then we began fighting alot. I had started working (I just transfered stores from California to Idaho. And he got a job and was working too. So between work and our son and household we didn't spend much time together. He also started going over to his friend Nate's house a lot to help his wife  with her three kids. And I had confronted him on that numerous times, because his help at home started to be non existent, yet he would go over on the drop of a dime to help her. 

One time I was with her running errands and she told me that if she hadn't married Nate, she would have tried to be with Kody. It was a little rude for her to say that to me, being engaged to the man after all. I felt like there were still feelings there, and I told Kody about it. 

At one point I had suspicions, I had found him responding to craigslist ads again. But I found a picture on his phone that set me off more than anything. It was a picture of a girls chest, wearing a tank top. And the top resembled the ones Nate's wife always wore, and they had the same skin tone and the couch also looked similar. When I confronted him on it, he told me that she must of grabbed his phone and took the picture when he was over there helping with the kids. I didn't really believe him, that seemed like a made up excuse. 

My suspicion about the two of them grew, because he would go over at the weirdest of hours to 'help'. And Nate wasn't always home. And she also would come over to the apartment when I was at work which made things even weirder. 

We argued a lot about her, he was responding to ads on craigslist again too, and he wasn't making any time for me. A big part of me started regretting moving, feeling like the move ruined what was a perfect relationship. 

He started to distance himself from their house. He claimed him and Nate weren't getting along, because he was hanging out with a friend of his that didn't like Kody. And Kody felt pushed aside. At some point they had a falling out and they all stopped talking completely. That was when Kody asked about getting married. 

We originally went to a lawyer to see about him adopting my oldest and the lawyer told us we needed to be married first, so we talked it over and he seemed excited. He even picked the date, July 11. Things seemed to be getting better. He still wasn't helping with any of the housework. I had to go work 6-8 hour shifts 2-3 times a week and come home and clean and cook dinner. His hours got cut because it was summer, and grocery hires on summer help. So he was only working about 25 hours a week himself Money was tight and that too caused issues. We actually had family pay for our marriage license. 

Our wedding was the first time I met his friend Chase. He came as one of our witnesses. We were nervous, but seemingly excited. Kody didn't ask for the day off so he actually worked that night, so we scheduled it for 10 am that morning and by 1030 we were officially married, in a courtroom in Idaho Falls. No family was there, which saddened me a little. But we planned to have a 'wedding' of sorts in a couple years when we could afford to do it. 

We got married and came home, and he automatically went to bed for work, and life resumed how it always was. I cleaned house, and took care of our son. Being extra strict because he wasn't allowed to be loud, if he woke up Kody, it was hell on Earth. You never wake him when he worked. It wasn't good, for anyone involved. 

I never actually got a 'wedding night' or even a honeymoon. I don't think he touched me for three days, and when he did it was a quick thing just to please him. He had started to stop worrying about my needs, and more about his. I kind of just learned to live with it myself, so long as he was satisfied, so was I.