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Court Fight

It wasn't an easy transition to single motherhood. In the get go, Justin was very controlling and kept flaking on times to see the kids. And yet he kept wanting to fight me to agree with 50/50. I had to call the cops a couple times because he showed up at my house and refused to leave. He wouldn't take our daughters schedule into consideration and kept wanting to take her during her nap time and when I would refuse, he would get mad and claim I am keeping the kids from him. Around two weeks after he left, he came by after work to say goodnight to the kids. He started flirting with me and making obscene comments about my body. He felt me up in the kitchen and when I tried to stop him he said I was still his wife, so what harm was there to be intimate with each other. Even though I knew better, I gave in because I was still under his control. Yet, he still refused to talk to me, so I knew he was only using me for sex. We kept getting into fights over finances and otherwise.
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Tuesday, August 15, 2017

We met at the YMCA as per our agreement for drop off of Kendrick for visitation. At arrival, I handed him Kendrick and then proceeded to shut my car doors and prepare to leave when he turned around as I was getting into my car and said "you're not going to let me say goodbye to the kids?" and I told him why, he would see them in two hours I needed to get home and I didn't want to speak to him. He made a rude remark about it so I reluctantly opened the sliding door (which is automatic not manual) and allowed him to say hi to Natus and Avalon. He made some remark about how I 'refused' him visitation on Monday morning, and I reminded him that he had taken Avalon and Natus for his 4 hour on Sunday, but that he couldn't do the full visit and I wasn't ok with splitting  up the four hour that way, and that it wasn't allowed as it wasn't in the agreement. He claimed that his lawyer said that he could because the agreement never said he couldn't,
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Darkest Days

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Year Five

I never thought, I'd be sitting here, reliving the past year the way I am about to. I never thought, when He and I got back together, that the things that happened after would be something I would endure. When we got back together, the first couple of months... Weren't all that bad. Physically. We were probably the most intimate with eachother at that time than we had ever been before. But that wasn't repairing the broken pieces of our marriage. At the end of July I told him I needed new pregnancy clothes, because all mine from our daughter were for summer, I had nothing for fall and winter. He told me it wasn't his job. And that clothes were not a 'need' item. That if I needed them, I needed to get off my ass and get a job, because it wasn't his job to buy the things I needed. I became afraid to even ask for shampoo, because I was afraid I would be told I wasn't allowed to buy it. Because when I said I needed shaving cream one time, I got the same &
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Year Four

When I came home from having our daughter, I didn't get a break. The house was unkept. No one had done any of the dishes, trash was pilled at the door. Laundry wasn't done, floors weren't mopped. I had cleaned the house before going to the hospital, and I was only gone for 2 days, and I came home to a disaster. I was embarrassed that his dad had to see the house that way, I usually am so clean. And because in the past he has held the cleanliness of the home against me, I felt that I needed to clean because I was worried I would be ridiculed later for it.  So I was 3 days after having a baby, and I was deep cleaning my house. I even took out two loads of trash, down the stairs mind you. I was in so much pain. But I felt that I needed to. He didn't even offer to help. He said I should stop, and when I asked if he was going to do it for me, he said he was tired because he had 'issues' sleeping while I was at the hospital. And that now that our daughter was home,
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Year Three

End of July we started wanting to try for a baby. We hadn't been using any kind of protection pretty much our entire relationship and I had been off birth control for over a year at that point. In August, I had two cycles and something felt wrong so I went to the OBGYN. In September he ran some tests, and found that I wasn't producing progesterone the way that I should. I also had an abnormal papsmear and a biopsy found mild grade HPV cells. He said we would just retest in 6 months, and offered for me to take Clomid, a fertility drug, to help me get pregnant.  At the start of November I had to start taking the pills. I had told him previously that we needed to have sex every other day for 8 days for the best chances. He joked about watching porn and part of me was afraid that he wouldn't commit. Our sex life at that point was fine, so I wasn't too worried but the pills alone made my hormones crazy, I didn't want to have to do multiple rounds. Plus my insurance ra
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